your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
