Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
