What a fucking waste of an outfit
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
