Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
