Your tits are I can't wait for
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
