oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
