So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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