I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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