She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
