Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
