Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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