Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize