there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
