I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
