This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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