i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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