Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
