you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize