In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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