Acid is not a monday night drug
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
