I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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