I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
