I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
