She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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