She just used a chaser for red wine.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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