will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How naked do you want me to be?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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