You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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