and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
