i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
