Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
