weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize