Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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