How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
