fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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