no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I skipped work to stalk him.
where am i from again
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
