even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
