It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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