i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize