Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i would punch a child for taco bell
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
