whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
