i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
