Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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