I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
