I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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