When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize