new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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