was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
