can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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