Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
