Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
