your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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