Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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