You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
