I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
