I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
