If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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