goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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