The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
