Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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