and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
