haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
