Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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