I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
