the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
