Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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